Everything's bigger in Texas

Did you know that there is a Christmas Capital of Texas? And not only is it open for business way earlier than is normally acceptable, it is located just spitting distance from where we're staying.

Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks...

Internet, hold the phone. And shut the front door. You're going to want to be seated for this.

There is an outside chance, if everything lines up in the most perfect way possible, that two of the Lubowiczes (the First Wave), will be in Dallas for the World F-ing Series.

Now, a LOT has to happen in order for this to transpire:

First, the Rangers need to beat the Toronto Blue Jays. Seems acheivable since baseball is America's passtime and Canadians are dirty liberal socialists.

Second, the Rangers need to beat the Kansas City Royals. (Or, hypothetically, the Yankees or Astros, if they beat the Royals, but lets not entertain fantasies) Not easy, but theoretically possible.

Third, the Rangers need to win no more than three (but more than 1) of the first five World Series games in order for the series to return to Dallas for games 6 and 7 (conveniently one day after the First Wave hits Dallas).

Finally, the Lubowiczes need to win the lottery, because those games are NOT going to be cheap.

If I were a betting man...I'd be broke because I'm crap at it. What I'm getting at is that I'm not going to hold my breath. But lets just say that a certain burly Australian just became the world's biggest baseball fan.

D'oh(nuts)

Today, I got caught in a vortex that was the bastard child of anxiety and self loathing, so I asked the internet whether Disneyland has weight restrictions on the rides.

The internet gave me a bemused smile and said "are you kidding? This is America. Have another hot dog."

Yuss.

The horrrrrroooooooooooorrrrrrrr

Internet, the world is ending.  Apparently the new Star Wars attractions at Disneyland kick off, literally, two weeks after we leave.  FFS, Walt!

If we miss out on this:

...one of us is going to cry. I'll give you a hint: it's the burly Australian one.

Once upon a time in a land far, far away.....

Two of the Lubowiczes (otherwise referred to as the First Wave) are fulfilling a lifelong dream to go to Disneyland.  FOR FOUR DAYS.  One of the Lubowiczes chose a hotel within spitting distance of Target, because that is her Disneyland.

If you've never been to Disneyland, trying to plan the thing is pretty bloody full on (translation: hard).  Where did we start?

Well, we started by looking for a bargain, because we are not rich.  There are about 8 million sites out there selling Disneyland packages.  We went with this pretty yellow one because it was the least daunting, easiest to navigate and seemed to have lots of choice in all price ranges. Was it worth it? I don't know - ask me on 30 October, when we walk right off a plane and into Disney.  We found a really good deal.  And then the NZ dollar tanked (along with scores of other currencies worldwide - thanks A LOT, China) and the good deal was a lot less of a good deal, but nevermind.  We'll just eat ramen for a month or seven.

But getting hotel and tickets is only part of the equation if you're wanting to make the most of your time at the Happiest Place on Earth (and it's little sister, Disney's California Adventure, entry to which comes for free with your ticket).  So, off to Google we went to get absolutely overwhelmed by talk of FASTPASSES and Magic Mornings and Character Dining and, and, and....

It's easy to get nervous, and feel like you're going to miss out if you don't do Disney perfectly.  For instance, we're not getting to go to Mickey's Halloween Party on the night of the 31st because it's sold out.  Initially, this sent one of the Lubowiczes into a full-blown tantrum and pout ("Oh that is just great. Now the trip is RUINED. We might as well just not go AT ALL.  GOD.").  But then we quickly realised that Mickey's Halloween Party is going to be a melee of sticky, crying toddlers high on candy having overstimulated meltdowns, so not the world's worst loss, as it turns out.  Have fun with that, parents! The Lubowiczes will be raising an adult beverage to your courage somewhere else.

Still, we needed some advice on what to wear, generally how to tackle the park(s), where to get the best festive headgear... you know, the absolute essentials.  That's where we found whoever this batshit nuts beautiful genius is.  She knows EVERYTHING.  Literally, when it comes to Disney, ALL OF THE THINGS.  It's one stop shopping for every neurotic panic-pants.

So, now we're a lot more relaxed about not wasting our Disney moments and getting the best out of the trip.  Part of that is the freedom of knowing you have four days.  Statistically, that's a lot of days in a row to be a screwup, so odds are we'll get at least one of those days right.  Part of it is just not caring too much.  In the end, we'll be together, it won't be raining sideways like it is in Wellington, and we have credit cards.  I'm pretty sure it will end...

See what I did there?

Say what now?

"The Anti-what-now?"... said every Texan ever.

Antipodeans. In common parlance, it means Australians and New Zealanders. And they're coming for you.

First wave lands at LAX on 30 October.

Second wave coming to Dallas 5 November.

Buckle up...